Chapter 5 | Wrestling With God
This is from a series of blog posts I wrote back in 2020 to share the background for what was to come.
My mind was spinning and my heart felt soft and full of joy after my encounter with Christ that fateful Sunday morning.
I went on a long motorcycle ride that afternoon. I needed time alone to just think about what all of this meant.
Was I really so loved? Despite my sin?
Bible verses flooded my mind….
“ ...I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”
“...Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.”
“...seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator. ”
As the miles rolled by I wrestled with God.
It can’t be this simple or this good. He started revealing to me his absolute ever presence. I began to see God everywhere I looked. Everything I saw around me sparkled with new life. Hope almost burst my heart open.
This hope gave way to faith, a belief that God loved me and had paid the ultimate price for my sin and had shown through Jesus how to live out a life of death and resurrection, ever becoming more of who He had made me be.
It was so clear to me that I could now live out a new life, freed from the compulsions and lusts that had such a powerful grip on my life.
God communicated to my heart:
You are loved just as you are right now.
You don’t have to ‘get right’ first before you can receive my unconditional love for you.
The Kingdom of God is an actual dimension of love that exists for you to enjoy right now.
You can access this Kingdom today, through a child like awe and wonder.
As I began to live out this new God powered life I experienced new peace and a new power to live above the limiting beliefs and habits that had kept me locked in shame.
My perception of God changed - from fear to love.
